Where Are We Now?

For those who follow my blog religiously, they will know that things have slowed. I am in a sort of limbo.

In the last week of December 2013, we had a positive BETA. Followed promptly with a failed BETA. So it was a major let down for IP's and us, too. The final failed BETA happened in early January just days before my fiance went into the ICU due to a horrific asthma attack. I knew the IP's needed time, and after the ICU trip, I needed time too - even though I may not have realized it at that time.

Since then, we have been communicating back and forth. Not as much as we once had. I think there is a little fear on both sides about the "what happens next?". No one wants to invest a lot of time and emotions into a relationship that isn't going to yeild any positive outcome. So, I knew the IP's would need to make a final decision of if they want to try again or not.

Recently, they requested that my medical records from the clinic we were using NEFI, whom I loved! be sent to another clinic for review. It's sounding like they are considering trying a different clinic. I also believe this would mean a fresh transfer - our other two attempts have been frozen transfers. What that means, as far as I can tell so far, is the process isn't going to be quite as easy. Last time we basically said when we wanted the transfer to take place and worked around that date. My research tells me that with a fresh transfer, the intended Mother (IM) and I will have to basically sync cycles up. Meaning, less planning time on my end.

That's a little stressful to me. I'm a bit of a control freak. I'll admit it! Well, I think most women are. But, I like to be able to know when I am going to be going out of town, and plan accordingly. Plus, I haven't told my boss about any of the surrogacy stuff since I transferred to the new position. Last time around, I had the same boss for 2.5 years and she was female and amazing. This time, he is young, male and new to me. I don't want to divulge too much info and then him end up being one of the crazies that I end up crossing paths with that don't agree with surrogacy. I don't think that will be the case, but I never know what to divulge.

Though, regardless of the changes this time around, I am really looking forward to a final decision. I obviously am hoping that they do officially decide to proceed, even if it is with another clinic. It's important to me to try to help a family with their journey to have a baby. Surrogacy really is a journey, it's a commitment, and not always a fast process, but it is one that is near and dear to my heart. I am so happy that I am doing this - even if it is still currently an "in limbo" process.